Wordle!!!

Just read up on a really cool application here - one of my favourite creative writing blogs.





This is what I created from my blog post - 31 Reasons Why I Love You

You can make yours too! Check this link out - WORDLE!

The Cutting Edge

There must be something in traditional women's chores that lures men to take them up professionally. Or else, how can you explain the exemplary success that Pandit Birju Maharaj, Shiamak Davar and Sanjeev Kapoor have achieved in professions like dance and cookery, which, as any match-maker will tell you, are a 'traditional woman's' claim to fame. Is it the thrill, fascination or a fat pay packet that is the calling card, I wonder! Seems like the battle of the sexes may finally be coming to an end with both men and women, willing to take on each other's roles. About time too, especially in the lives and times of the career-oriented Indian youth.

It could be because of interest. Men make better chefs because it's a man's job - maybe preparing bulk meals, handling the tandoor, are all very formidable tasks. It is not easy for women to put in such hard manual labour and late working hours. But I think since men are not under pressure to learn cooking as a daily task, it becomes almost a creative option for them. But in this age of DINK (Double Income No Kids) couples, men are increasingly making their presence felt in the kitchens too. In addition, the hi-tech kitchen appliances available at every nook and corner are only popularising the phenomenon. With ready-to-eat food items and easy-to-use appliances, cooking is hardly a difficult job anymore.

Men love kitchen gadgets which do half the work, like a good food processor. Fair enough. So do I. Most women don't. For some strange reason, women of a certain age love to toil and slave with blunt knives and old vessels to prove how hard they have been working. In some cases I agree. By the time you get the tomato slicer out, wash and clean it, you might as well have cut the thing with a knife. But today's cool men need their basic tools, in working order. Cool men also love a nice looking kitchen, not one that looks straight out of a Victorian novel (what the English used to call a `scullery') of a Siberian labour camp. They love quick recipes, easy shopping and like to see a smart table with smart accessories.

Enter a five-star kitchen and you find it bustling with men. Surf the channels for cookery shows and you find more of them, either hosting it, or handling the ladle themselves or simply adding a dash of their very male appeal. While cooking might be considered a woman's domain when it comes to cooking on the tele, all one finds is men. Celebrated chefs like Sanjeev Kapoor and Rakesh Sethi have wooed viewers with their stylish cooking skills. A potful of good-looking models and actors have hosted or co-hosted cookery shows. Hunks like Upen Patel, Sudhanshu Pandey and actor Aly Khan have all tried their hand at it. As it is women who watch these cookery shows it is obvious they would like to watch a good-looking guy. Besides, what's new about a woman working in the kitchen? It's kind of sweet to see a man chopping vegetables and handling the pans. And as far as professionalism is concerned men cook for money and women cook for love!

Bhalentine Day - Bengali Way

With Valentine Day just round the corner, could not resist putting this up... Had read it a few years ago...

In Bengali,

Tumi (pronounced too-mi ) means You and Ami (pronounced aami means I)

Tumi samudra ami aranya, tumi Amit ami Labonya;
(You are the sea and I am the forest; You are infinite and I am beauty)

Tumi bhugal ami itihaash, tumi Paro ami Debdash;
(You are Geography and I am History; You are Paro and I am Devdas)

Tumi Closeup ami Colgate, tumi Romeo ami Juliette;

Tumi Makaibari ami Wah Taj, tumi Shajahan ami Mumtaz;

Tumi Thuja ami Arnica, tumi Clinton ami Monica;

Tumi chiruni ami ayna, tumi Dodi ami Diana;
(You are the comb and I am the mirror)

Tumi bulbul ami tota, tumi Jyoti ami Mamata;

Tumi dherosh ami alu, tumi Rabri ami Lallu;
(You are the lady's finger and I am the potato)

Tumi ucche ami potol, tumi Soniya ami Atal;
(You are a type of bitter gourd and I am parwal (a type of veggie)

Tumi chips ami popcorn, tumi Phulan (Devi) ami Birappan (Veerappan);

Tumi jilipi ami chumchum, tumi Suchitra ami Uttam;
(You are jalebi and I am chamcham)

Tumi hajmi ami toffee, tumi Boris ami Steffi;

Tumi khyal ami gazal, tumi Shahrukh ami Kajol;

Tumi CBI ami greftaar, tumi Sangeeta ami Azar;

Tumi Santro ami Ciello, tumi Desdemona ami Othello;

Tumi mach ami mangsho, tumi srishti ami dhangsho;
(You are fish and I am mutton; You are creation and I am destruction)

Tumi Ajit ami Mona, tumi Sourav ami Donna;

Tumi elish ami parshe, tumi Pheluda ami Topse;
(elish and parshe are types of fish)

Tumi dhakna ami shishi, tumi Katthak ami Orissi;
(You are the cork and I am the bottle)

Tumi Sholay ami Bazigar, tumi Minar ami Chabighar;

Tumi boma ami grenade, tumi Mahakaran ami Brigade;
(You are the bomb and I am the grenade)

Tumi Only Vimal ami DCM, tumi Congress ami CPM;

Tumi Raju ami Gopal, tumi Bharat ami Nepal;

Tumi galpa ami kobita, tumi Aishwariya ami Susmita;
(You are story and I am poetry)

Tumi OK ami fine, tumi aniyam ami ayeen;
(You are OK and I am fine; You are illegal and I am law)

Tumi bangla ami hindi, tumi tip ami bindi;
(Tip and Bindi mean the same thing)

Tumi uttejona ami kolahol, tumi cricket ami football;
(You are excitement and I am chaos)

Tumi jhamela ami gandagol, tumi Pk ami Amol;
(You are nuisance and I am disturbance)

Tumi gur ami chini, tumi hulo ami mini;
(You are jaggery and I am sugar)

Tumi gaja ami khaja, tumi Rani ami Raja;

Tumi botua ami pouch, tumi oof ami ouch;

Tumi babbah ami mago, tumi hyago ami ogo;

Tumi superb ami glory, tumi lekho ami pori.
(You are superb and I am glory; You keep writing and I will keep reading)

Kabhi Khud Pe Hansa Main... Aur Kabhi Khud Pe Roya

Notice the number of times your parents / grand-parents have told you that the Television is an 'idiot box'. I've always wondered whether it is correct to brand something so universally when it can be a source of entertainment and knowledge. But I realized how much wisdom our ancestors held when they uttered these two words, when I switched on IndiaTV and saw the following report :

Oh why not? Aliens have travelled billions of light years to drink delicious cow's milk on their long journey back!

And who can forget 'The Great Khali' - his loss became the breaking news in this (in)famous news channel. Incidently, a train got derailed that day, taking its toll of human lives and public property, and (not) surprisingly, IndiaTV chose the loss of great Khali to be their "breaking news"!

There are Bush Bloopers and then there is IndiaTV. One is harmless and humorous; the other spreads panic and fear psychosis. It thrives on the darker sides of people - fear, superstition, magic and supernatural. Being a Hindi news channel, the reach is wider as compared to other news channels. And when a "TV Channel" provides such information, people tend to believe. With a number of channels vying for TRP, there is cut-throat competition and a lot of them have gone the tabloid way. Their coverage and reportage of various news events tends to be often sensational and irresponsible.

In fact, a glance at their career section gives the following : INDIA TV, fastest growing news channel is looking for people who believe in justice and the power of truth. Who believe that every single evil existing in our society must be exposed and every single truth revealed. People who believe that there are many more battles to be fought, within our own society. Join India TV in its mission.

Bah!!! And they believe that they are 'exposing' aliens and revealing truths about ghosts on trees, tormented souls in wells and possessed witches in villages.

And if IndiaTV takes the cake for toxic reporting, Star News (Hindi) takes the cake for frivolous reporting. Dig this...



This type of journalism is called Yellow Journalism - journalism that exploits, distorts, or exaggerates the news to create sensations and attract readers.

In fact if these (and other) Hindi news channels are to be crucified, the English ones need not be crowned either.

Remember AbhiAsh wedding... every single news channel made this a HUGE affair - the BIG FAT INDIAN WEDDING, if I may call it... I'm sure it is imperitive that every citizen knows what breed of horse did Abhi ride, what was the colour of Ash's mehendi, what kind of clothes they were wearing...

And of course, the Mumbai - Taj terror attacks. Every angle, every nook and cranny was covered by media persons - perching precariously on the roof-tops of adjacent buildings, reporting 'Live' the entry of our armed forces, the exact position of the army helicopters, the number of commandoes, the number of trapped victims rescued, which exits were unmanned, which vehicles were being used to take people to safety - the horror of it all was magnified manifold. Is it too far-fetched to think that the terrorists will use the media - television, internet - to glean information on the activities of the armed forces? Insensitive questioning by the likes of Barkha Dutt to the relatives and friends of trapped victims has come under intense criticism from all sections of society.

Our news media has become derelict in its obligation to the society to serve as a platform to voice citizen concerns and shape public opinion, and has lost its moral authority as a watchdog of the administration and establishment.

So what is the way out? The ideal solution would be regulation and censorship by the government / responsible body but this puts a serious curb on freedom of expression and could lead to interferences which are undesirable. The best way out then is self-regulation and self-censorship - a need for a complete restraint in the mindless chase of sensationalism and importance and focus on good journalism. It is, after all, one of the last and most influential and far-raching bastions of our democracy.

Yaaron dosti badi hi haseen hai...

With the extended weekend and hubby down with cold (yeah, he can catch a cold in the hottest of weathers), I took up the daunting task of cleaning the bookshelves. We both are ardent readers and consume atleast two books a week each, in addition to the magazines, newspapers, e-papers and blogs. But I digress... So, as I was cleaning, I came across a bunch of albums - my school days' photographs. All thoughts of cleaning flew from my mind as I opened them to relive and cherish the priceless childhood memories...

I loved to play 'House-House' with my elaborate kitchen-set. Even while my bro was very young, I used to make him the Man of the house, give him an empty brief-case and send him to office while I took the skins of peeled veggies from my mom and would cook meals, hang clothes to dry on ropes tied between windows.

I had (and still have) this childhood friend of mine (let's call him H). Now, H was in my school and while returning home, we would hand our school-bags to our mothers and run off ahead, climb the staircases of other buildings and hide till we would see our mothers pass from below. Then we would race ahead and surprise our mums by hugging them.

We played in mud but didn’t catch any germs; played in the pool but didn't catch a cold... It used to be a regular feature for both H and me to try and beat each other in swimming.

H used to have these birthday parties with the most awesome 'Aam-Raas' (Mango pulp / juice) I'd ever eaten. His birthday would also have the most craziest of punishments for 'Passing - the - Parcel' - climb a tree, drink 10 glasses of water, jump over the gate etc.

In school, the last period of the day used to feel like the longest. We used to eagerly wait for bell to ring & to run off to the play-ground / auditorium to play. PT (Physical Training) periods used to become TP (Time-Pass) for all of us.

We used to write in the best of our hand writing only to get a star in the class work copy.

I used to play a lot of DOS games. PC-MAN, BRICKS were my favourites.

I have played dozens of pranks. We were a group called Chunky-Monkey' group - a gang of sorts and we used to have immense fun.

It was a matter of pride to become the monitor of the class. And I was the undisputed monitor from Standards three to ten since I was one of the most talkative student around.

We used to be the happiest when teacher wrote those four words in our diaries -Tomorrow is a holiday. It was the best purpose of the school diary.

There are lots of memories where these came from... Vibrant, energetic, innocent and pure fun - school days were some of the best days of my life.

24 Carat Necklace...

Do you remember Slam Books - the ones which have these standard questions (What is your favourite colour / movie / food...) which we used to pass to friends in school / college to capture details and memories of our life - n - times. I was going through the book and came to the place where, in the last page, I had filled it out for myself. And the answer to the question - What is the craziest thing you have ever done? - brought a broad smile to my face, as I remembered the incident...

It was my friend's birthday and we were this big gang of guys - n - gals who decided to gift her something she would remember for a long time... in short we decided to play a prank on her and I was the master-mind!

She was very fond of jewelry and had a large collection of chunk as well as junk pieces which she would team up with her outfits. So, being the faithful, sensitive and observant friends that we were, we decided to gift her - yes, you guessed it right - jewelry and that too a 24-carat necklace! Her excitement knew no bounds.

The D-Day dawned bright and clear. Armed with a gift-wrapped box, we entered her Birthday Party. Balloons, streamers, a large number of common and uncommon friends and relatives greeted our gang. In fact, she had been so excited by our proposition of gifting her a 24 carat necklace, she had told it to all her guests. So when we entered, all eyes automatically drifted to the gift-wrapped box in my hand.

After the cake-cutting ceremony (and a large piece in my mouth), we decided the momentous time had come when we'd gift her, her birthday present. With guests gathering around, all of us together, chorused a BIGGG HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her and handed it over to her. The box was bigger than a normal jewelry box but our innocent friend herself gave an explanation for it - 'Box ke andar box, uske andar box, usmein mera necklace hai na?' (The gift is within a box which is inside another box, isn't it?). We suppressed a giggle.

She removed the wrapping and pulled out a string of... 24 bright orange, garden-fresh CARROTS!!! We howled and doubled up with laughter, seeing the incredulous look on her face. She too took it in a sporty spirit and actually wore the Carrot Necklace with us in a group photograph. Of course, we were not heartless and after all the shrieks, giggles and snorts of laughter had died down, we gave her her real gift - a necklace with a stone-studded carrot as pendant - to remind her of her 24-carrot necklace!

Buzurgon ne kahan hai ki...

I got a chance to spend a considerable amount of time with my grand-uncle (my grand-father's brother) in the last week - his illness being the reason that I was off blogging for the past 7 odd days. In-depth discussions and debates, logical arguments and counter-arguments on a variety of topics have been the characteristic of this relationship. One such topic of discussion was the generation gap and what are the differences that prevail between his generation and mine and hence, are we truly better off than our fore-fathers... We discussed this topic thoroughly, touching on science & technology, religion, politics, economic and social changes and a host of other subjects but what stayed with me was the New-Indian-Middle-Class-Nuclear-Family that has emerged in our generation. So what am I talking about? Let me elaborate...

A lot of my friends are getting married in 2009 and hence, marriage is a common and favourite topic among us. And today, all the Dulhes want their Dulhaniyas to be qualified and employed. The couple would want a dual-income set-up to be financially strong and independent. After marriage, they want to spend atleast a few years away from their immediate families, giving time to each other to understand and adjust to each others' comforts and concerns, valuing their freedom and independence. The joint-family system has given way to the nuclear system where the definition of a family is limited to Hubby, wifey and kiddi(es). They are in control of their lives, demanding that parents relinquish their 'interferences' and give them space. They lead a fast-paced life-style, battling traffic, board-meetings, presentations and managing responsibilities at home. In my home, I may do my laundry after midnight, may give marathon amount of clothes for ironing every two weeks, sleep late, buy groceries and provisions every weekend, do epic amounts of cooking for the week etc. To my parents and grand-parents, it looks to be an undisciplined, chaotic life. But, to me and loads of other married, working women and men, it is a convenient way of life since it is the only time we have. Men no longer can say that they will not contribute to the house-work. I think the relationship is much more equitably balanced, with both the partners sharing the load. Couples no longer want kids within a year of marriage. The Dual-Income-No-Kids is increasingly becoming accepted. Time is very precious and so weekends are strictly reserved for family and couples dislike intrusions by neighbours, bosses and even relatives and friends.

The hand-phone, SMSes, e-mails have increasingly become a part of the couple's daily life. I have my hand-phone in the power-on mode 24*7. It is a compulsive need to be connected all the time. Same goes for e-mails. I have friends who refresh their inboxes every 3-4 minutes to check for new mails. Scraps, twitters, commenting on blogs are the norm today for keeping in touch. Orkut, Facebook, chat rooms and other social networking sites have seen record memberships due to this new surge of online netizens. We no longer read news-papers. E-paper, news sites, RSS feeds, Google Reader keep us more updated than never before. We buy flight / train / bus / movie tickets online, send flowers and e-cards on special occasions through the Internet, read digitized books and do video-conferencing as if we were born with these skills. We are way more comfortable with living with loans and credit than our previous generations.

English has become the universal language. What with a rise in inter-state marriages and it being a common work-place language, couples transcend linguistic barriers to speak the Queen's language at home as well. Popularity of yoga, power-yoga, meditation, Art of Living are on an all-time rise, being directly proportional to increase in stress in our lives. We love to immerse ourselves in reality shows - Bigg Boss, Indian Idol, Nach Baliye - where we feel a sense of God-like power and control by voting, deciding the fate of the contestants.

The vegetable markets have given way to retail stores and super / hyper marts where all provisions are available under one roof. Branding matters a lot to us - we are more quality conscious. Instant foods, Ready-made Masalas, 'Just-add-water-and-serve', 'Heat-and-serve' are our savers when we have sudden guests / reach home too late to cook / traveling and there is no-one to cook / don't know how to cook :) All the secret tips and yummy recipes which my mother had inherited from her mom / mom-in-law will be lost to my next generation. There is no Handing-Over-Taking-Over (HOTO) as we call it, in HR terminologies, when an employee resigns. I may be able to teach my daughter how to multi-task between her career and her home, how to pick up the veggies which can make quick dishes, which appliances are mandatory to run a home (vacuum-cleaner, dish-washer, washing machine, refrigerator etc) but I will not be able to pass on to her how to make elaborate meals which take hours of preparation; how to sew, mend, knit, embroider; how to keep a house spick and span; how to give effective child-care without the aid of a maid / play-school / crèche / day-care center... These were a given in the generation of my parents but today, cooking elaborate dishes is a relaxation and embroidery is a hobby.

There are so many subtle changes that differentiate us from our forefathers… are we really better off than they were - well, in some ways we are. Our life has become convenient, more comfortable and more connected, we are more aware, educated and have access to vast information at the click of a button but unfortunately, we do not have as much time to enjoy it, given the stress and strain of modern city life.Technology has given us ease but we have become more demanding and less satisfied. We today, not only want a television but it has to be a 39” plasma HDD TV with 450 stations, a DVD Drive with Blue-tooth connectivity and split screen technology. I think we have got used to a fast life where we may have physical comforts but deteriorating mental peace and perennially short of time.

Welcome 2009!!!

Just in time... before Jan'09 got over...

If the year 2008 was one which you started reasonably optimistic....

And you finished it somehow worn out....

You felt alone in the world

With a couple of extra wrinkles

And some kilos too much...

If you forgot more than one important obligation during the year...

Not to speak about the disagreements with your boss....

And more than one objective remained beyond reach

If that year your morale was sometimes low....

Here comes a new year !

To celebrate as it must be....

With tenderness

With love

And with a lot of humour

May 2009 be the year of the big jump !

Mohammad Ali Jinnah

It is quite amazing what unique names parents give their children. And it needs to be mentioned what led me to think of this...

I am sitting at the airport, waiting for my flight to be announced when I hear this... 'This is a paging call for Mr. Mohammad Ali Jinnah passenger travelling on flight XYZee... Mr. Mohammad Ali Jinnah (MAJ), you are requested to proceed for boarding through Gate Number 2 on the ground floor immediately!' And as I glanced around, I saw, like me, tens of pairs of eyes looking expectantly at Gate 2, waiting to catch a glimpse of the unfortunate MAJ. Among other passengers were a group of college guys who were seated beside me. Within seconds of the announcement, there were bets on how MAJ looked.

... "Hatta Khatta hona chahiye... Naam jaisa" (Should be well-built, just like his name);

... "Height toh goga hi" (Must be tall);

... "Hope he is tall, dark, handsome (TDH)", one of the girls gushed..

"Yaar, pata kaise chalega kaun hai MAJ?" (How will we know who is MAJ?).

Promptly, one of the guys jumped up and walked towards Gate 2. In my mind, Fatty, the master of disguises and secret seekers of Enid Blyton came to my mind. Within minutes, a smart, suited person approached the Gate. All our eyes, the group and mine, flew towards our secret service agent (SSA) who very subtly leaned towards the counter pretending to ask about the flight schedule, to catch the name on the ticket. He then turned towards us and gave a thumbs down. The girl who had gushed about the TDH bit, almost stifled a sob.

By then, our excitement was high. Any passenger movement towards the Gate immediately drew our eyes towards our SSA. And finally our patience paid off. With a repeat of the announcement still on, we saw a small man, no taller than 5 feet, dressed in blue jeans and a bright orange shirt rushing towards the gate. We were so sure that, after our big speculations on the TDH bit, there was no way he even came close to our mental picture and so some didn't even bother to look at our SSA. A small gasp from the girl made us look up. With a face full of incredulity and humour, SSA was walking towards us with a thumbs-up and a grin.

Made me think of all the times I have pictured and expected things to be in a certain way and got so involved with the mental picture that I would start believing it to be true and being bitterly disappointed in the end when things turn out very different, giving little thought that things were always the way they were and it was I who conjured it up differently in my head.

Anyway, had a good laugh on this, both at the situation and myself. Poor MAJ, he must be the source of disappointment to lots of passengers in many an airports!

A Cow in the Ditch!!!

This was a story narrated by the Country Business Manager of my Company. I liked it for its ability to set the organizations thinking on its priorities, decision-making skills and shared responsibilities.

The story revolves around a big ranch with two big shot cowboys and their respective teams. The ranch owner, a rather burly man with great strength and control, runs the ranch. Strength and resilience are the key features of the two cowboys who have great management skills.

One day, an incident that challenges their leadership abilities takes place in the ranch.

The ranch is large and has many ditches, ravines etc. A cow falls into the ditch and is severely hurt causing a commotion among the 2 teams.

The fallen cow - a "good" cow, needs to be saved at all costs.

Few options are played out to solve the problem of the "fallen cow":

A. The 2 teams come together, one cowboy takes the lead, shoots the other cowboy and the cow and gives the message to the ranch owner - "Shot the cowboy who had caused trouble to the cow. Incidentally, cow also died."

B. The two cowboys, given that they are "tech" savvy decide to have an intellectual discussion over emails. Multiple emails are sent back and forth and additional folks (sheriff, bar owner, milkman, baker, etc.) are added to the email/intellectual discussions. Waiting for help, the cow dies.

C. One cowboy comes to rescue with his team, tries desperately to pull the cow out using all means while the other cowboy merely critiques on the process, ability, and the intent of the first cowboy....pontificating from the sidelines.

D. Both cowboys and their teams come together, quickly draw out a game plan, throw in the rope and save the cow. Also, build a fence around the ditch to protect the other cows from falling....thus showcasing value of speed & teamwork & foresight.

E. All the focus is on the fallen cow....while the other good cows aren't attended to and they start falling ill and dying.

F. Cow gets saved with great effort and some band aid is put on the rescued cow without checking whether cow needed additional attention like fracture, medication etc. So, cow is not fully recovered, due to patchy rescue/repair done & falls into ditch again.

As you ponder over these scenarios and feel that the answer is clear, just step back and think which person best represents you, your ranch, and the process? What would your response be, if you were the ranch owner and could decide on the course of action?

Bubbles...

"Are you sure this is a good idea? Hmm... I don''t think so... Aur kuch soch na (Think of something else)."
Raj paced the length of the conference room. He was more anxious than I was.

"Arre, you're the one who comes up with such great ideas and today, when you have such a big task at hand, kaise sad ideas de raha hai (What sad ideas you are coming up with)."

He gave me a hopeless look. I burst out laughing, more at the irony of the situation than my best friend. The situation, through Raj's eyes, is very grim. I am going to propose to the love-of-my-life, Diya, and Raj is more critical of all my ideas of what gift I should give her. In fact, this very moment, he is giving me a very disapproving look, at my outburst. He just won't let me make light of the situation. Raj, being him, needs to make meticulous planning, going down to the granular details of exactly what colour ribbon should be used to wrap my gift... Oh yes, coming back to the present (pun intended)... we are still yet to finalise the GIFT! He has mercilessly shot down roses (Forever type ka kuch dena chahiye - You should gift something that lasts her forever), jewelry (Agar usse pasand nahin aaya toh! - What if she does not like it?), greeting cards (Kanjoos!!! - miser), bunnies and teddies (Arre, kuch toh original sooch! - Think of something original), chocolates (Har time khaane ki hi soochta hai! - All you can think about is food). I was about to suggest my most wonderful idea of gifting 'Myself' but, seeing Raj's fierce face, I decided to keep quiet.

Hey, I'm the protagonist here but as usual, Raj is hogging up all the limelight. What was I feeling while Raj was making the Perfect Plans? I was in my own world - in fact, I felt on Cloud Number 9. I didn't want to come down tonight, just like Bryan Adams had crooned. And why should I not be happy? Diya was a wonderful girl. She was just I had always dreamt my girl would be - simple, full of life, witty, charming and understanding. I had known her for a little over a year and she had filled all those times with laughter and sunshine. In fact, that's what I called her - my Sunshine. And as I had started spending more and more time with her, I had started feeling I understand her as well. Her silences, her sudden giggles, her sparkling eyes on seeing gol-gappa, her shrieking when a cockroach dared to approach within ten feet of her. And there were those times as well, when all she said was 'Nothing' and my repeated asking / begging / pleading would not budge her out of her silences. Those were the only times I wondered whether I actually understood her or was she an enigma as I had heard all women are, to men.

But the best thing about her was her incessant conversations. She loved to talk about every little detail of her day. I sometimes wondered whether some one's day could really be filled with so many teeny -tiny days in them. When she would ask me how my day was, all I would say was 'Fine', 'OK', 'Great' or 'Lousy' depending on what mood my boss was in. I mean, what more is there to talk about?

And then there was the time we both were at Juhu beach, hand in hand, walking through the white, frothy waves. There was a gentle breeze blowing and the sun was about to set. If you have been to Juhu, you would know the large number of crowds the beach attracts. Suddenly, her eyes lit up. She left my hand and skipped towards this old, wizened man selling balloons and blow-bubble liquid. She bought a bottle and turned towards me, her eyes bright and the smile of a kid on her lips.

"Look what I found!", she said in a loud, excited voice.

"Baby, grow up!" I didn't know whether to give an embarrassed smile or laugh indulgently. People around us stopped to look at her and some of them smiled at her.

"Why should I?" Her laugh finally made me laugh with her as bubbles drifted up, towards the sky.

This was on our first date. Over time, as I said, I have started understanding her and her innocence. But, more than understanding her, I have begun to understand myself and my feelings. I now see myself responding to situations and later thinking about them. I may not need to share my boring work life with her but I know I need to give her a patient listening when she wants to speak. I need to show as much enthusiasm in her little joys as she does. I know she understands the fact that we are different and we need to work towards our relationship. I love basketball and know she hates sports and yet she doesn't complain when I disappear for my weekend games - the only real time we can spend together. But all she needs from me then is to know that she is in my thoughts and the one SMS telling her I miss her. I don't mind doing these for her. A few years ago, I would be very surprised if I were to consider changing myself for someone else. Today, it comes naturally to me.

"So, what are you going to get her?" interjected Raj into my thoughts, "Yaar, I think I know what you should buy her." I smiled. I know Raj would say it but it didn't matter. I no longer wanted to know. This special occasion would be ours. Just Diya's and mine. I was going to propose to her. The setting would be perfect. And I was going to take a bottle of blow-bubble liquid for her.

Rock On!!!

When you come to the edge of all things that you know, you must believe one of two things: There will be earth on which to stand, or you will be given wings to fly.

I was browsing lazily one summer afternoon, when I read this line. And it stuck on! What appealed to me was that it glowed with positivism and strength. As a recent advertisement puts it : the edge is just the beginning... a place to fly from...

Now a bit about myself. I’ve been generally having a very 'exciting' life from the time that I can remember. As someone had put it - my life's like the roller-coaster ride - full of ups and downs; thrills and adventures!

And in all of this, I've learnt a few lessens as well :

• There are only a few things that truly count for a happy life. I believe, everyone should make this the main purpose of their lives. To be content and happy. And pleasantly, happiness and peace of mind can be achieved by giving them to others. It is the simplest and easiest way to a good life. I believe one should do essentially whatever it takes, within ethics and limits of one's personal beliefs, to be happy.

• Know when to try harder and when to walk away. Having lived through my life (and living, as I speak), I’ve realised that, in retrospect, most of the things don’t matter. So much of what I got excited about, anxious about, or wasted my time and energy on, turned out not to matter. I am a perfectionist and there have been tonnes of times, I've been reluctant to let go of a project or a situation because I was not happy with the outcome. But I've grown to realise that there are very few things in life that you really have a control over and those are the ones that really count.
  

• Life hurts at times. Endure. Grieve. Move on. This has been, till date, my biggest learning and I'm still grasping it. I understand the first. I do the second and third. But I invariably get stuck at step 4. The moving on bit is still something I need to come fully to terms with. It takes enormous amount of will-power for me to let go of situations where I feel life has been unfair to me. And all this despite the fact that it is crystal clear to me that the only person who suffers in this is me! The mind, inspite of all its intelligence and rationality, can be very incredibly stupid at times! So, know where to go... be it to your best friend... or a charming inn in the woods... when your soul needs soothing.
  

• Be a free spirit. I think laughter, the sparkle in one's eyes, the radiance and glow on one's face when one is happy, is the best panacea for all ailments - physical and mental. I would always want to be a kiddo in my heart.

• Keep up the excitement and the enthusiasm. Climb the tallest mountain, swim the longest water body you can find. Picnic at midnight. Take up a new hobby. See new places. Or simply take a midnight drive to the beach and stick around for dawn. My point is to take advantage of what you have: energy, idealism, enthusiasm, a willingness to experiment, a lack of encumbrances, a desire to learn and grow.

• ...and finally, friendships are the best relationships one can have in this lifetime. They heal the heart, soothe the soul and provide laughter and support when you need them the most. I believe a loyal friend stays loyal under enormous amounts of thoughtless abuse and I am blessed to have such great friends in my life. They help me remain sane in the craziest of moments and double the happiness in my craziest of moments as well. :)

The choice is yours...

I’ve hit rock bottom so many times that at a point, I’ve just reconciled with the fact that I’m destined to have an exciting life and present the world with a very charming autobiography at the end of it! And I'm glad that all of the above, my life experiences, will find space and meaning in it.

Fundamental Attribution Error

There are always some memories, good or bad, that stay with us and we don't know why we cannot forget them. For example, there are certain words or situations that are just stuck in my mind and although I know in which context they were used, the situation was so insignificant that, rationally, they do not warrant a permanent etch in one's memory. But there they are...

One such term is 'Fundamental Attribution Error'. I remember it, not for the concept but the situation in which it came up. I was caught up in neck-deep work, running against deadlines when I received a call from a senior colleague in my function. He was going to give a talk on Organizational Behavior and wanted me to take up this topic. Being caught up in a lot of work, I politely declined but the term stuck on. And at repeated, random intervals, this term keeps popping up like an affinity diagram - say the news reports on Mumbai terror attacks brought up religious fundamentalism and this term jumped up from the depth of my cranium; or my hubby was speaking to his friend and said 'Don't put fundaes' and POP! There it was, dancing in front of my eyes... I can go on and on about the various affinities which bring up this term. So today, I decided to finally read on it in-depth in the hope that finally, it will cease to haunt me!

I read it up online here. Interesting concept! What this theory talks about is simply that we have a tendency to judge people basis what 'kind' of personality he / she has rather than the external forces which are at play in the situation. Here, external forces could range from social, political or environmental. Which translates to this : say, there is a student who by nature, is not disciplined in school and has not done his homework for the day. While judging this student, we may tend to say 'What better can you expect out of him - he is anyway an in-disciplined child', rather than considering external conditions influencing his behavior viz., illness or not understanding the class work or genuine personal problems. The reverse theory to this is actor-observer theory which over-emphasizes the situation rather than the nature of the person. So, while judging this case, applying the latter theory, we may tend to say 'Poor child, he must have had a bad headache OR the teacher must have not explained well in class' while the genuine reason could have been that the child is lazy and not disciplined.

Goosey Gander! Too much Gnyaan! But, I started applying this to my life and my experiences and I came up with the following insight :

Just the other evening, I felt like having one of those marathon conversations with my hubby. So, I pulled out of my fervent blogging and asked him if he was free. "Sure", he said. So I picked up two steaming-cups-of-coffee and sat across him and was just about to launch into one of my never-ending bakbak sessions when he said, "I have to call chechi". He picked up his phone and started speaking to her. And there I was, listening to a conversation I could not understand a word of (since it was in Malayalam). I waited for a few minutes then got up and walked off, bugged and hurt about his 'insensitivity'.

Later, when he asked me what had happened, I, being me, launched in this story of how he should have told me he wanted to speak to his sis and so should not have called me for the conversation... then should have told me how long the conversation would take... and how could he do this to me / treat me like this... and these had hurt me deeply.

With every word and every crib and every way in which I described how fatally he had hurt me, my hubby was more and more surprised.

"But you never told me you wanted to talk so much... I thought you just wanted to have coffee..." (Since I had asked, in so-many-words 'Are you free?' not indicating that I wanted to speak to him - hence he was free to assume anything!)

"I didn't think you would get so worked up; I would have told you how long my call would take..."

"Of course I love you... what were you thinking..."

:) Now I know FAE was at play. I attributed his behavior to a deliberate choice, but he might have made another choice if he had been aware of what I was assuming. In other words, I was attributing it to his personality than the situation or context. However, when it came to analyzing my own behavior, I gave greater importance to the situation I was in than my own personality traits. Classic FAE!

And coming to think of it, most of us do it all the time and some of us do / have done this most of the times in their lives.

Phew! Now that I have read up on the term as well as applied it in real life, I hope this concept stops haunting me! But, as I said earlier, the concept may stop chasing me but will I ever be able to rid myself of this error? Let's leave that for another cup of coffee!!! :)

My Dream Came True... !!!

Do you day-dream? Of being the richest, fastest, most beautiful, powerful... Of having the perfect features, a sculpted body, a personality that combines exuberance with style?

And what would you feel when you are showered recognition, adulation and admiration in the press, the media and the Internet? When a thousand flashlights follow your every move, when a thousandfold people know you compared to who you know, when mothers across the world put you as a role-model for their children, when you are a person respected for your intelligence and envied for your beauty? When your career and personality blaze a trail others would dream of following but your elfin charm and natural flair will find no successful inheritor...

Well, I had a chance to feel all of the above when I was given the honour of the World's Greatest Business Mind at a glittering ceremony at The Hilton. I was chosen out of thousands of nominees from five continents by the International Collective Council of Excellence. It was a night of much fanfare and glamour. I was in the glare of media spotlight and mobbed by crowds. It was instant adulation and dizzying fame. I stood tall, reveling in my success, celebrating my inner happiness and hopefully inspiring others through my example.

The media reports were published here.

It was my dream come true... well, almost!!! :)

Live it up!!!

When you were a child, think what were your biggest problems... Chances are it will hover around homework, trying to score the highest in class, excelling in extra-curricular activities and if all this were not enough to complete your 24-hour day, you would have been expected to be a model son / daughter and an ideal student. The children of today may also add by telling you that his parents push him too hard and too fast to become a winner and it is far better to be a grown-up than a kid who is forced to listen and abide by his elders.

What were your biggest issues, as a teenager? Chances are you'll talk about interference from parents, too many rules and restrictions, overworked hormones and confusion galore. You may talk about peer-group pressure, love life (or the lack of it), career choices, talking with friends about the same topics over and over because you could not seem to make a decision. You may have felt that you couldn't wait to cross the magic age of eighteen when finally people will look at you like an adult and take you seriously.

Ask yourself what your biggest worries are and chances are they'll be about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself. Maybe you are not married and you keep wondering why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better... or you get dumped and wonder how someone you loved so much could do this to you... or maybe you are married to the completely wrong person and you lie in bed wondering why did it have to happen to you...You worry about looking after your family, raising children and building a career. A closer look at your career path may make you realise that it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom scares you.

As you grow older, your worries compound - losing your youth, your head and finally your life.

One of my friends forwarded this to me on mail and it set me thinking...

Antares is the fifteenth brightest star in the sky and more than 1000 light years away. ... so, how big are we and hence how big are the things that upset us today?

Wow!!! Some perspective!

Who is free from all worries? I don't believe anyone is. Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. If we all are to leave this world someday, why should we spend precious seconds, thinking of what can go wrong and why things never happen the way we want. Nothing lasts forever so...

Live it up, drink it down, do stupid stuff, love, laugh it off, avoid the BS, take chances... and never have regrets!!!

It's a song by Natural called Paradise and the lyrics aptly sum it all up :

I live the long life
To get to where I am right here
I walk the long road
With just the wind in my hair
All I have is my smile
I began to lose track
I walked on for miles
And I never looked back
I’m not the kind of guy To get left out in the cold

Walked on forever And I’ll never grow old
Don’t wanna live the real life
Working nine to five
Find a piece of paradise
Finally feel alive
I live my life to the fullest
I have no regrets
I’d have to stack the deck
To win all my best

I feel a fire burning
Deep inside my soul
(deep inside my soul)
I hold onto my destiny
And I’ll never let it go
Cuz I live my own life
Found what I set out to
And I’ll never look back Because I found paradise
Devote my whole life to
Never giving up again
Follow your heart, your mind, your soul
Hold onto your dreams
And never let them go.

... so, Explore! Dream! Discover! Now...