Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Ye Naam Mein Kya Rakha Hai...

Let's be clear about one thing from the very beginning - I love my name. It's unique - I work in a company which employees over 3 lakh employees and there are no employees with whom I share my complete name.

And then I got married - but happily, I didn't go through a name change. Although I think it is a matter of personal choice whether one should change one's name or not, here are my two bits and four pennies worth reasons why I think one should not be compelled to :

1. I love my name and I guess so do most women. It is a part of our identity and who we are. Does the identity of the bride remain in only her hubby's surname?

2. Why should the bride adopt her hubby's last name? or middle name? or any name other than what she has lived with for the last few years? Understand that she is married to you, but so are you to her. So why should only she make the transition?

3. There are so many times when I have gone through my facebook / orkut friend list and found that all of a sudden, the first name sounds familiar but the last name doesn't and if there are no snaps in the profile, I have to start making educated guesses about whether she is THE ONE I used to know in school / college!

4. I believe changing bank signatures, passports, driving licenses and other paraparnalia is a big pain, just because your in-laws / hubby want to address you by their name!

5. We get married today, more often than not, once we have already laid the foundation of our lives, have a career and earned financial independance and self-esteem. Is this the only way we need to prove our love / respect to our in-laws / hubbies?

... and finally, my name is my business. I am the only one who has the right to decide what it should be. It is simply a matter of personal choice. I may be someone who loves my maiden name or someone who would happily take up my hubby's surname because I love it / think it is MY way of showing love and respect for the family / I like to follow traditions... But, in a civilized society, I should not have to justify my choices to anyone. I should not have to explain why I retained my maiden name or changed it. That’s my business.

20 comments:

  1. naam mein sab kuch toh nai lekin bohot kuch rakha hai...haan yeh bohot issues hai post marrige ke..i think i'l read about it from where this tradition has originated

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  2. I agree with everything that you have written so clearly..why should one have to change a name to prove something?

    To each his/her own..like you said its an individual choice and I too find it very irritating on social networking sites..keep second guessing all the time

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  3. I agree. It should be a personal choice, not a compulsion. :)

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  4. you left the readers with no other options apart from agreeing with you.. do you?? :)

    Nice post and BTW, same here.. a unique name and so far even Google does not return another matching full name as mine :))

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  5. I agree on each n every word.I am a person who feels strongly about thi issue, and I won't be changing my name...Come What May!

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  6. hmmm... regarding the second point and onwards, it actually never came to my mind !!!

    Intelligent Thought !!

    Way to go Dewdrop !!

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  7. Dont think many women change their names after marriage these days .. good post !!

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  8. Naam Mein Kya Rakha Hai...! so why not change it.!?

    actually..i agree..but what i dont is name=identity.!?
    "regardless of the name you take – you will always be yourself in all your mannerisms, quirks and idiosyncrasies that make you uniquely you.

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  9. Great mind at work ..... Unique thought !!!
    I think its choice of an individual ..... Moreover its like the movie/novel NAMESAKE :)

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  10. Yeah.. I agree...

    I wonder mere ko naam badalna padaa toh... ;) ab mujhey koi achchey surname waala mundaa dhoondna padega..hehe

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  11. you know in russia we have a choice whether to take husband's name or not.. the only point that bothers me actually is changing of all the papers, rest i am kinda ok with

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  12. well, well, well... awesome post. identity crisis is seen everywhere these days! advani striving to rid of hindutva identity. congress wooing people by 'jai ho' campaign - wonder they identify with slums or slumdogs!
    now, women struggling to maintain their surnames :D

    i always felt that its up to the individual to identify himself/herself. for a change, ask if your hubby is inclined to change his surname to yours ;)
    and u r right in saying about changing name business for license and passports, quite unnecessary

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  13. Hi! :) Nice post
    I agree... I got married, didnt change my name. Didnt change it on orkut/facebook! I take pride in my own name.. its unique and one of a kind :D

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  14. i agree with you.
    it should be your own choice..

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  15. Sorry mam,

    i am not believing the same way. person should be known only on his/her character and personality and not on name.We do recognise the person by name but why ? why not by parameter. i know it is like key factor for database of name but surely changing name or not matter most. believe it or not .. upto you. it is my personal opinion.

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